Proof That God Wants You To Be My Slave... - Goddess Worship, Matriarchy, Gynarchy, And Female Supremacy Reborn
Apr. 5th, 2008
12:59 pm - Proof That God Wants You To Be My Slave...
I woke up this morning severely hungover from celebrating Sarah Lynn's birthday last night. Obviously throbbing temples and that slightly nauseous feeling was not punishment enough for last night's gluttonous drinking binge. As if things couldn't be any worse, I woke up with My tequila and vodka flavored tongue glued to the roof of My mouth and I could not rush to the bathroom to solve this issue like I normally would because I got Sarah so drunk that she ended her birthday in My bathroom doing a damn good imitation of Linda Blair projectile vomiting in the exorcist. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Sarah was so slushed that she blew chunks all over the entire fucking bathroom before vanishing to her bedroom to pass out cold! Hahaha! Unfortunately she also happened to hurl all over My kickass Halloween toothbrush holder which held the only tools that could possibly remove the fur coat My tongue created while I was sleeping. Fuck! After sending Sarah to the store to replace My toothbrushes and some of the other items she puked all over, I decided to check My email while I waited for her to return and since My day obviously wasn't already shitty enough, the first email I opened is one of those bleeding heart christian emails informing Me that I'm going to burn in hell forever for all of My sadistic sins if I do not repent immediately and offer My blackened soul to Jesus Christ. Oh Lord Fuck Me Jesus, now My morning officially fucking sucks and I'm going to hell too!
My initial response was to write this loser lamb of god back and simply tell them to fuck off and die but since first opening their email I have received My new toothbrush and a hundred apologies from Sarah Lynn so I'm in a much better mood then I was when I first woke up. After finally brushing away the taste of last night's drunken debauchery and popping some motrin I almost feel human again. So instead of just going off on you moronic christian fucks I have decided to offer you some comfort by proving to you that god wants you to be My slave. Below you will find a few verses from the bible that should put your feeble minds at rest the next time you find yourself awake all night agonizing over the damnation of My eternal soul.
Biblical Proof That God Wants You To Be My Slave...
(Colossians 3:22) – "Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence. "
(Ephesians 6:5) – "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ."
(1 Peter 2:18) – "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh."
Current Mood: hungover