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Apr. 16th, 2009
These guys visit the same youth pastor who slipped up during his sermon
disguised as FCC agents who are there to deliver a $50,000 fine and shut
down the church. He falls for it pretty hard. If you're wondering what
I'm talking about watch the video I posted on October 28th 2008!
Oct. 23rd, 2008
Oct. 5th, 2008
New Project Announcement: The very first test batch of t-shirts featuring the official www.churchofmalice.com design shown above have finally arrived but look forward to even more originally created malicious designz in the very near future. Twenty five of these shirts are now available for sale so if you wish to own one of these limited edition t-shirts then this is your chance. Click the example photo above to buy one now!
PS: AVAILABLE IN SIZES - SMALL : MEDIUM : LARGE : 1X : 2X : 3X
Jun. 24th, 2008
BY KEITH BAKER OF ABC NEWS
Whether his name is a blessing or curse the man named God Lucky Howard was arrested by undercover detectives for selling cocaine in his neighborhood. If the delivery of cocaine charge isn't enough Howard is charged with the delivery of cocaine near a church, a school and public housing near North Avon Avenue in Tampa. After obtaining a warrant Police searched Howard's home and found an additional 22 grams of cocaine and a scale. The investigation began toward the end of April and led to Howard's arrest Saturday.
Howard remains in jail on $86,500 bond.
Apr. 5th, 2008
I woke up this morning severely hungover from celebrating Sarah Lynn's birthday last night. Obviously throbbing temples and that slightly nauseous feeling was not punishment enough for last night's gluttonous drinking binge. As if things couldn't be any worse, I woke up with My tequila and vodka flavored tongue glued to the roof of My mouth and I could not rush to the bathroom to solve this issue like I normally would because I got Sarah so drunk that she ended her birthday in My bathroom doing a damn good imitation of Linda Blair projectile vomiting in the exorcist. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Sarah was so slushed that she blew chunks all over the entire fucking bathroom before vanishing to her bedroom to pass out cold! Hahaha! Unfortunately she also happened to hurl all over My kickass Halloween toothbrush holder which held the only tools that could possibly remove the fur coat My tongue created while I was sleeping. Fuck! After sending Sarah to the store to replace My toothbrushes and some of the other items she puked all over, I decided to check My email while I waited for her to return and since My day obviously wasn't already shitty enough, the first email I opened is one of those bleeding heart christian emails informing Me that I'm going to burn in hell forever for all of My sadistic sins if I do not repent immediately and offer My blackened soul to Jesus Christ. Oh Lord Fuck Me Jesus, now My morning officially fucking sucks and I'm going to hell too!
My initial response was to write this loser lamb of god back and simply tell them to fuck off and die but since first opening their email I have received My new toothbrush and a hundred apologies from Sarah Lynn so I'm in a much better mood then I was when I first woke up. After finally brushing away the taste of last night's drunken debauchery and popping some motrin I almost feel human again. So instead of just going off on you moronic christian fucks I have decided to offer you some comfort by proving to you that god wants you to be My slave. Below you will find a few verses from the bible that should put your feeble minds at rest the next time you find yourself awake all night agonizing over the damnation of My eternal soul.
Biblical Proof That God Wants You To Be My Slave...
(Colossians 3:22) – "Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence. "
(Ephesians 6:5) – "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ."
(1 Peter 2:18) – "Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh."Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/drunk.gif)
hungover
Nov. 13th, 2007
The Church website has been slightly updated today and more
updates will follow in the upcoming weeks! - Reverend Malice
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/working.gif)
accomplished
May. 24th, 2007
It would seem that My original guess was correct and the gestapos that run Bill Greene's Myspace page did indeed take My comment down. So I decided to exercise My freedom of speech and posted it once more. Literally within five minutes of posting My comment for the second time they deleted My comment once more. They also deleted Me as a friend so that I could not post My comment again in the future. It's nice to see that My lack of faith in the republican party has been restored. He was completely terrified when he read the truth of My words and feared being exposed for the nazi right winger that he really is. Not only does he seek to censor the public's right to religion but it would also seem that freedom of speech is another right that he seeks to destroy as well. By deleting My comment he proved to Myself and the public in general that he is indeed scared to be held accountable for his closed minded conservative stand on the issues that really matter. He has no respect for the opinion of the public whose support he seeks and he also has no respect for the freedoms that many good women and men have died to secure. He is obviously just another politician looking to line his pockets off of the sweat and tears of our wonderful country. He must have learned his political values by reading "Politics For Dummies" by George Bush!
May. 23rd, 2007
I just received an add invite on Myspace requesting that I add this year's conservative republican candidate for congress Bill Greene to My page. I added him alright but only so I could give him a piece of My mind about the issues that he supports. We have a bet within the household now to see exactly how long it will take for My comment to be deleted. I posted My comment only seconds ago but I imagine it will be taken down very shortly, so I am posting a copy of My comment here in My journal as well.
Copy Of My Comment...
The first question I asked Myself as I read this candidate's profile is what in the world made him think I am republican or even remotely conservative for that matter?
As I read over the issues he stands for I found Myself thinking that the last thing we need is a miniature of George Bush in local Georgia government. This country was founded on freedom yet these closed minded right wing republicans attempt to tear down the very freedoms that our country has fought so long and hard to establish. Freedom of religion is one of the first rights these bible thumping politicians attempt to destroy. Take their stand against gay marriages for example. Only according to the majority of christian republicans is homosexuality considered a sin. Within my own legally recognized faith of wicca/paganism love is celebrated in all forms. So by taking away the right for gay couples to marry you are also infringing your own beliefs upon those who follow different faiths and different paths. Who gives you the right to shove your christian politics down our throats? Would you like it if we started shoving our beliefs down your throats?
As I go through each issue I only find one that I even support which is his stand on illegal immigration, but agreement on one issue is not enough for me to live under the strict beliefs of a neo-nazi tyrant.
For those of you who actually live in the Commerce, Georgia area that are uninformed please click the link below and take the time to read his issue statement completely before casting your ballad.
http://billgreeneforcongress.com/issues.phpJan. 4th, 2007
Residents See Jesus Image In Tree
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Man-made religious decorations are a common sight at this time of year, but the image on a tree in an Arlington man's front yard is natural and some neighbors have begun calling it a holy tree, according to a WJXT-TV report. Neighbors near Daryl Brown's Arlington home said a tree in his yard bears the image of Jesus. The likeness has created a buzz in the neighborhood and has many residents at a loss for words. "I see the face, eyes, and you can see the crown," said one neighbor. "I can't say what I feel, I just feel it," said another neighbor.
The image was discovered a week before Christmas by a woman walking her dog, the report said. Overjoyed by what she saw, the woman shared the news with her neighbor. "Nancy said, 'Would you like to see something? Just make sure you see it. I don't want to have to show it to you first," Brown said. Brown recently moved to Arlington from Texas. He said the tree has given him and his family comfort as a symbol that everything is going to be OK in their new home. "It's a blessing for me just coming to town, getting introduced and meeting new people out here ... When she showed me that, I said, 'OK, there is a Jesus.'" Brown said.
Similar to other cases of similar sightings, there will be skeptics. However, Brown said no skeptic could convince him the image is anything but Jesus Christ. "Jesus don't just pop up like that. If you know the word of Jesus and you believe in Jesus, then there you go. He does exist," Brown said.
The woman who discovered the image told WJXT-TV that she moved to the neighborhood after she retired to find some peace and quiet, but that she did not realize she would find Jesus. She said every time she walks her dog she is comforted knowing Jesus is watching over her.
Dec. 25th, 2006
NEW YORK - There's nobody nice on this Christmas list: snowman stabbers, Grinch snatchers, wreath-robbing weasels. 'Tis the season for strange crimes by even stranger people, with police blotters expanding faster than a 6-year-old's wish list of gifts.
David Allen Rodgers, 42, was arrested Dec. 3 for driving while intoxicated at the wheel of a float during the annual Christmas parade in Anderson, S.C. According to witnesses, Rodgers sped down Main Street in the Steppin' Out Dance Studio float with 19 people aboard, ran a red light and led police on a 3-mile chase. Police said that when Rodgers finally stopped, they found an open container of alcohol in his truck. "I made a very bad judgment on my part," Rodgers said at a court hearing.
In Chicago, 32 plastic baby Jesus dolls were stolen from nativity scenes set up in people's front yards. The kidnappers then lined up all the dolls along the fence outside a Chicago woman's home; she rounded them up and turned them over to her parish priest. Similar creche crimes occurred in 35 cities from Fayateville, N.C., to Mission Viejo, Calif., according to The Catholic League, which tracks nativity vandalism.
In Houghton, Michigan, somebody stole an inflatable Grinch from outside an apartment complex. That was just one instance in the area's rash of seasonal thievery: Two brown plastic reindeer, a baby Jesus statue and several wreaths were also stolen.
In Ohio's Hamilton County, a pair of 18-year-olds were arrested for using screwdrivers to stab an inflatable 12-foot-tall Frosty the Snowman. "Why me?" asked Frosty's owner, Matt Williquette. "And why Frosty?" The snowman had survived two previous stabbing attacks. Two other local teens were arrested in an unrelated incident where they allegedly smashed a car with a large decorative candy cane, causing $1,000 worth of damage.
An Oklahoma woman was arrested after she visited the Delaware County Jail with a Christmas card for her incarcerated boyfriend. Police said the card held marijuana, leading to Dawn Smith's arrest.
A real-life Grinch in Yonkers, N.Y., made off with $14,000 in staff bonuses and money from the office safe during a Christmas party, police said. Daniel Rios, 38, spent $7,500 in cash but returned about $6,500 in checks, authorities said.
And then there's the case of the Santa Claus kidnapping. A motorcycle-riding Santa Claus with a stuffed Rudolph in his sidecar was arrested after allegedly grabbing an 8-year-old girl from outside a South Carolina convenience store. John Michael Barton, 55, was in his Claus outfit filling his bike with gas when the girl's family stopped by the store. The girl's father then saw Barton speeding off with her. After a chase at speeds of up to 80 mph, Barton pulled over his motorcycle and turned over the girl, police said.
Barton was arrested later, hiding inside a bar.
Dec. 19th, 2006
32 Baby Jesus Dolls Found In Yard
By Associated Press
CHICAGO - Dozens of people looking for Jesus can find him at a church on Chicago's South Side. Thirty-two plastic baby Jesus dolls were stolen last week from nativity scenes in people's front yards. Then on Saturday morning a woman found all the missing Jesuses lined up along the fence on her lawn and she gave them to St. Symphorosa Church. The Rev. Marcel Pasciak said the woman was one of his parishioners at St. Symphorosa and "panicked" when she saw the dolls.
Fourteen of the dolls' rightful owners had claimed them by Tuesday morning.
Pasciak said he thinks teenagers took the baby Jesuses as a joke and not as a religious statement.
"Don't they look funny?" Pasciak said as residents came to claim their decorations. "We're putting Christ back into Christmas literally and metaphorically."
Not everyone took the thefts lightly. "You put things out and it's to express your beliefs, to celebrate your faith with your community," said Carol Angiollo, whose baby Jesus was among those taken. "To have someone violate that is really disheartening."People who called police to report a missing doll were directed to the church, said Chicago police spokesman Pat Camden. "Baby Jesus belongs in a nativity, not in evidence and recovered poverty, which is where they'll wind up if they're not claimed," he said.
Dec. 15th, 2006
Don't know what to buy that special person in your life this holiday season? Now you do! LOL!Dec. 14th, 2006
Don't know what to buy that special person in your life this holiday season? Now you do! LOL!Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/happy.gif)
amused
Dec. 13th, 2006
Don't know what to buy that special person in your life this holiday season? Now you do! LOL!Current Mood: amused
Dec. 12th, 2006
Don't know what to buy that special person in your life this holiday season? Now you do! LOL!Current Mood: amused
Dec. 11th, 2006
Don't know what to buy that special person in your life this holiday season? Now you do! LOL!Current Mood: amused
Sep. 24th, 2006
We had a recent Church meeting (LOL) and popped off some kickass new pictures for The Church Of Malice website. You can now see them in place in the "chapel" section of the website!
I will be adding more pictures to the website this week so stay tuned
for even more spiritual inspiration from The Church Of Malice coming soon!
Current Mood: excited
Sep. 23rd, 2006
JOIN THE CHURCH OF MALICE CONGREGATION
Those who wish to be listed as church members in the congregation section of The Church Of Malice website need to join The Church Of Malice group and submit a picture to the Congregation Picture Album a.s.a.p! Everyone who sends in a picture and joins the group is welcome to participate and be counted among the congregation of the church. Eventually each "church member" will also have a profile page of their very own on the church website but for now add your pictures to the new church group so I can get a laugh out of them and then eventually get them uploaded to the site. Slaves submitting pictures with a religious yet blasphemous theme get extra brownie points!
JOIN THE OFFICIAL CHURCH OF MALICE GROUP NOW!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/devious.gif)
devious
Sep. 21st, 2006
Thieves Give Figurine the Unkindest Cut
By Associated Press
Thu Sep 21 2006
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - Masked thieves armed with a chisel stole the penis of a wooden Maori figurine, or tiki, at the entrance of a public library in northern New Zealand, police said.
Security cameras captured pictures of three masked men using the chisel to remove the tiki's penis early on Sunday morning. The figurine is one of two indigenous Maori designs that stand on "pou" or posts astride the entrance to the library in Whangarei.
Carver Kerry Strongman said the theft had damaged the "mana" or pride of the city. Strongman said he would begin work immediately on a carving that would restore the tiki to its original state.
Police said they were at a loss to explain the theft, particularly as a nearby statue of Tangaroa, the Maori god of the sea, was better endowed.
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Malice's Thoughts: Personally I can see why they left the better endowed male intact. If I had a choice between cutting off the uselessly dangling dicklette of an inadequately endowed male or a real man's well endowed cock, I too would choose to dismember the weaker example of manhood as punishment for being inferior to it's larger and therefore more pleasing male counterpart. What pleasure could you members of the smaller species of manhood possibly hope to provide other then My cruel amusement? LMFAO!
Sep. 20th, 2006
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======================
MESSAGE: To: Mistress Malice
Date: 9/20/2006
From: GOD
Subject:YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE
This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you.
Remember... If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, Do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.
Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.
If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair... There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.
Should you have a bad day at work... Think of the man who has been out of work for years.
Should you despair over a relationship gone bad... Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.
Should you grieve the passing of another weekend... Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.
Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance... Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.
Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror... Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.
Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about... Be thankful There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.
Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities... Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!
Now, you have a nice day.
God
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P.S. If I keep getting these woderful spiritual messages in My email I may have to start a new website series section entitled letters from god! LMFAO!
Current Mood: amused
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